im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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