No stitches, just platelets and will power
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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