Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
