the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize