Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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