DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I checked into jail on foursquare
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
