i just wanna soil my oats bro
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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