He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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