It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize