I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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