I heard we made out
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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