I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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