Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
