Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
