You can't motorboat a personality
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
