How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
