Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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