sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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