My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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