Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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