ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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