I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
