we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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