You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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