I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
