i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
