He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
