3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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