All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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