Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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