Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
