Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize