I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
