you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
be right there i have to get my cape
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
