If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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