wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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