The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
