Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
