i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
