Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
