i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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