Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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