Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
