ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
