I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
