Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Floor bacon is actually really good
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
