Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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