There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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