I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize