She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
