Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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