i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
