my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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