Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
