My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize