I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
