matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
