His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
