Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
