I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
