Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
