Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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