How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
