I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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