open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
