im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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