did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
